Loss- Jan30th

Today generally I was feeling v down n somewhat lost in my thoughts..

Was asking myself meaning of existence, what am I doing here..Etc etc..

The news came that my dodappa/Uncle (Mom’s elder sisters husband) passed away.. He was suffering from Parkinson for almost 2 years now..

The early memory of him was that he was always strict, disciplined his kids n appreciated good behaviour..spoke v little and maintained his dignity…

Was a v educated and hard working man, strict on his principles n hard worker..He was a CA..how he was always truthful n never did anything wrong or took a shortcut..was v punctual with his health n all and this Parkinson stuck him..never probably smoked a cigarette nor had drinks so much clean he was .

My cousin’s a boy and one girl were v well brought up..My aunt used to take care of him 💯 from the time he has this condition..never left him alone, did everything for him like a dutiful wife..

My cousin sister was undergoing a rough time n they have always been with her through her thin n thick times..

This uncle was v nice to me my hubby too.spoke v well and showed a lot of respect to us ..my last memory of him that would remain is a watsapp video conversation with him when we had been to India vacation last year as we cudnt meet him in person… He was v sweet n was enquiring about my family, hubby j daughter n in laws in general…

The question that comes to my mind today is did he really enjoy his life to the fullest?

Did he live life as he wanted or was he bound with responsibilities n never had fun…

I do not want to regret that I was always so busy that I forgot to have fun or postponed to have fun in life…

Many thoughts n million questions untangle in my mind as I dwell upon simple things in life…